Pizza Sauce? Yes. Tomato Chunks? NO!

I know it's been a long time since I posted anything to this site, I got lazy. But there have been so many tomato bombs lately that I felt compelled to start this back up.

I pre-ordered a pizza for tonight because I knew with the Chargers Monday Night game in town the pizza place would be busy and I didn't want to have to wait. I thought I was so smart, I should've known better. I ordered the works with mushrooms on half, my guy's not a big fungus fan. Nothing too special about it, just don't put mushrooms on half the pizza. Easy peasy, right? Apparently that threw the pizza maker off enough to cause a memory lapse of what goes onto a Works pizza. I took the pizza, tipped the driver, and prepared to feast...open the box...NOOOOO!!!! I DIDN'T ASK FOR TOMATO!!! WHY?!?!?!!

So now I sit here, waiting the hour I was trying to avoid, hungry and cranky. BAH.

(It doesn't clearly show the chunks of vile fruit but they're there, I assure you!)

Tomato Poetry Wars

Many of my friends know of my total dislike of Tomatoes, as was shown in the last post made to this blog. Here is another for your reading enjoyment. My bestie posted this on my FB today...

"Another i hate tomatoes moment for bago LOL!!!

i can't believe you hate them so, it breaks my heart, it's true, you know;
let me share a good tomato with you, in love you'll fall, deep and true;
the soul of the tomato, tender & sweet, ode to that tomato meat;
may the love bloom between tomato and you, a love eternal borne by two.

tee hee & LOL!! xoxo"

Yes, she calls me Bago, don't ask.

And here, my rebuttal on her FB wall...

"Tomato, red and round

Your inside, seeds and slime
Love for you not found
To loathe you is no crime

If your taste were honey sweet
I'd probably like you more
But your bitter flesh, I will not eat
I'd rather lick the floor"

Yes, we're silly. Yes, I LOLd.

Send me your Odes to Tomahtoes!

Wifeyface is Way Better Than Tomatoes!

I got a little present on my facebook from the best wifey in the world! Tamalon, you are full of awesome and win, my friend! I heart this and I heart you. <3<3<3

Taco Bell Filling Fail

Living in San Diego there are taco shops on almost every block of every neighborhood but Taco Bell is an institution unto itself. They're not authentic, they don't claim to be. I'm also not a super huge fan but every once in a great while I get a craving for their crunchy taco supremes and nothing will sate it but the real deal. Today was one of those days that I just HAD to have a couple crunchers.

As I usually do, I checked the bag to make sure I had my order right, because we all know this blog wouldn't exist if my track record with drive-thrus was anything other than what it is. I see there are 2 tacos in the bag, satisfied that I have what I came for, I head back to work.

I know I should probably eat somewhere other than my desk but I only take half an hour lunch. So, I unwrap my first taco and...

Uhm, guys? I think you forgot something. Like, I dunno, the filling maybe? Thankfully, the other taco had a decent fill ratio so it wasn't a total loss but needless to say, I ended up still hungry and very disappointed. The drive-thru gods curse me yet again. *shakes an angry fist*

$5'll get ya 5

This post brought to you by the letter R for Rip-Off.

In the office complex where I work, they've been trying out gourmet food trucks. Now, I know this is all the rage and I know that there are probably a few out there that really wow the crowd but my experiences so far have been less than impressive. Today's adventure found me at a Tuscan Cuisine truck. Some of the items on the menu included Classic Cesar salad, assorted hot sandwiches and hot pastas with garlic bread. I walked up to place my order and noticed that the Classic Cesar was nothing more than a handful of romaine lettuce and a packet of Ken's Cesar dressing. The only thing classic about it was it looked like classic cafeteria food. I thought about getting a sandwich but they were charging $8 bucks and anyway, i wasn't that hungry. It's a good thing I wasn't wanting much to eat because what I ordered would've only been just enough for a 5 year old.

I decided on the Ravioli Fritti with a bell pepper sauce. I love a good pasta dish and I don't eat it very often these days what with having to watch my carb intake. Soooo, I wait for my order and after a few minutes the cook comes to the window with a tiny box. I'm puzzled by the size of it but I didn't give it much more than a passing thought. I waited a few seconds for him to hand me the garlic bread and when he didn't I asked him, "Um, do I get garlic bread with that?" He looks a bit perturbed but turns around and grabs a piece of bread out of what looks like an old cardboard box, throws it in a bag and hands it over. Oooookay. Thanks?

I head back to the office, grab some utensils because they didn't bother to provide any, and open up the box...I blink, take a count, blink again...5? Noooo, that can't be right. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

Wow. I just spent 5 dollars on 5 ravioli. Well, 6 bucks, really because I was stupid and gave the kid a 1 dollar tip. I guess the extra dollar covered the cold, stale piece of garlic bread. I think it's a safe bet to wager that these weren't fresh, handmade either. They tasted like something you'd buy in bulk from Costco.

The people who are on the website as the chefs/owners both have Italian names but let me tell you something, just because you're name is Italian does NOT mean that you can cook Italian. For shame, you do true Italians who cook true Tuscan dishes a great injustice.

Alla cazzo di cane

Summer Pear Salad FAIL

While most of my experiences with food fail are via take-out, it's not confined to just togo orders. Quite often I'm brought the wrong meals or meals missing key ingredients in sit-down places. This, dear readers, was one of those times.

My honey and I were out running errands and decided to try out Oggi's pizza as we'd never been there before. Since I'm having to be more careful about what I eat, I chose what sounded like a delicious salad. They even had a picture of it to tempt:

Doesn't that look scrumptious? Grilled chicken, pears, cajun cashews, gorgonzola and a balsamic vinaigrette. Well, let me just say that what I got didn't even look close to that picture. This is what came out of the kitchen:

What's missing from this picture? Anyone? Anyone? That's right, the chicken! So, the waitress comes back a few minutes later, "Is everything ok?" To which I reply with a resounding, "No, it's not ok." She goes back to the kitchen and within 30 seconds comes back with this:

There are so many issues with this. First, the amount of time it took to get the chicken from kitchen to table (less than a minute). They just happened to have a spare cut up chicken breast to bring out? Second, does this even look appetizing at all? At this point I'm thoroughly annoyed but whatever, I'm hungry and it's food.

I mix everything up, take my first bite, chew, chew...huh, needs salt. Ok, salt added, better but not stellar. I take a bite of the pear, chew, chew...I would say it tasted kind of like jicama but that would be insulting to that particular root. My man put it perfectly when he said it felt like eating packing foam. Not that I know what packing foam tastes like, because I don't. Well, I might but that's not the point here. The point is this salad was a total FAIL. If my eating habits have to drastically change, the least I want is something edible that's slightly pleasing to the palate. Jack n the Box has better salads. I'm serious!

So, I don't think I'll be going back and if I do, it'll only be because someone else chose the restaurant. There are way too many great places that do orders consistently right that deserve my business much more than this place. One turned up nose and a bleck.

Dressing Is Not Dressing When It's Just Oil

So, last week I went to Crouton's for lunch and chose to get two salads, one for lunch and one for dinner. I was really looking forward to tucking into the pear and blue cheese with turkey and poppy seed dressing. I checked to make sure both salads looked good and that they both had the salads on the side. This should've been enough of a check to make sure everything in my order was right. Right? I mean who has ever thought to themselves, "Hey, maybe I should check the dressing." So, salads in hand, I headed back to work.

I sit down at my desk, gently pull the salad out of the bag so it doesn't accidentally spill. Yes, there was a lid on it but with my luck you never know. Remove the lid, take the salad dressing out, "Huh. It looks kinda light and not many poppy seeds." *SHRUG* I shake the cup of dressing vigorously, pour it liberally on the salad, toss and dive in...

Chew chew chew. "This tastes like straight up oil", I think to myself. It must've been a fluke. Toss the salad some more. Chew chew chew...ew ew ew. YUCK! Thank the food gods I had some emergency lemon wedges in the fridge at work and a coworker provided the salt but it still didn't help salvage it. So, what did I do? Wrote a letter to headquarters to complain. Hey, they built their reputation on salads, they should know what kind of product is going out the door.

I received a response back from the owner/general manager who was just the right amount of apologetic. He offered to refund my money and try his food again, on the house. I like that type of customer service.

This time around I got the same salad they messed up the first time, I wanted to a) see if it was just a fluke and b) I wanted them to redeem themselves. There are so few places in San Diego that do salads and do them well. I also got their Californian panini. Just because you put avocado on a sandwich, it doesn't make it "Californian." But I digress. The sandwich, once I pulled the tomatoes off of it and wiped the slimy seeds away, was very tasty. I haven't tried the salad yet, I'm waiting till I get home but I'll take a pic of it and let ya'll know if Croutons goes back onto my list of 'must eat salad' places or if I leave the croutons to get stale and the salad to go limp.